top of page

What is my core desire?

Updated: Apr 1

I've been incredibly fortunate for the past two years to be a part of a small, diverse group of seekers from various countries. We gather every other week to contemplate the essence of God's heart and explore how we can attune ourselves to the Divine desires, actively contributing to their realization. This collective engagement has been transformative for each of us, profoundly enriching our personal journeys through the discussions and insights we've encountered.

Recently, our focus has shifted to discovering our individual core prayers, delving into the deepest, unspoken desires that shape our lives.

I've chosen to document my personal reflections here, submitting them without the expectation that they must represent a universal experience or even hold particular significance for you, the reader. I have a strong inclination to record this particular phase of my journey, during which I've uncovered five words that encapsulate my deepest desires. It's important to note that I'm still in the midst of this journey, and what I'm sharing is by no means the final or definitive expression of my aspirations…

· Purpose – what is the real purpose of God? Neither my purpose nor my comfort.

· Enlightenment – what do I need to discover the purpose of God?

· Journey – what does the journey toward this discovery entails?

· Love – could knowing the love of Christ, that passes knowledge, be the purpose?

· Power or energy – when I know that love, could I access the power within me?

The following scriptures appear to provide insight into these questions and have led me to discern a word that I believe was revealed by the Holy Spirit. Please read them slowly and re-read them for there is a power of revelation locked up in the words for those who are seeking.

Thus says the LORD: "A voice was heard in Ramah, Lamentation and bitter weeping, Rachel weeping for her children, Refusing to be comforted for her children, Because they are no more." Thus says the LORD: "Refrain your voice from weeping, And your eyes from tears; For your work shall be rewarded, says the LORD, And they shall come back from the land of the enemy. There is hope in your future, says the LORD, That your children shall come back to their own border. (Jer 31:15-17)NKJV I pray that the Father of glory, the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, would impart to you the riches of the Spirit of wisdom and the Spirit of revelation to know him through your deepening intimacy with him. I pray that the light of God will illuminate the eyes of your imagination, flooding you with light, until you experience the full revelation of the hope of his calling—that is, the wealth of God’s glorious inheritances that he finds in us, his holy ones! I pray that you will continually experience the immeasurable greatness of God’s power made available to you through faith. Then your lives will be an advertisement of this immense power as it works through you! This is the mighty power that was released when God raised Christ from the dead and exalted him to the place of highest honour and supreme authority in the heavenly realm! (Eph 1:17-20)TPT

For this reason I bow my knees to the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, from whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named, that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with might through His Spirit in the inner man, that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the width and length and depth and height— to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen. (Eph 3:14-21)NKJV

From one man, Adam, he made every man and woman and every race of humanity, and he spread us over all the earth. He sets the boundaries of people and nations, determining their appointed times in history. He has done this so that every person would long for God, feel their way to him, and find him—for he is the God who is easy to discover! (Act 17:26-27)TPT Blessed is the man whose strength is in You, Whose heart is set on pilgrimage. As they pass through the Valley of Baca (tears), They make it a spring; The rain also covers it with pools. They go from strength to strength; Each one appears before God in Zion.

(Psa 84:5-7)NKJV I sense that the message conveyed by these four scriptures is...

"You may stop crying in despair.

You may still cry with compassion but a new season has dawned.

You should search day and night with expectation to harvest the produce of the seeds that you planted through years of faithful toil and that you watered with many tears. Do not seek your own solutions or become disappointed with the brokenness around you.

I have ordained both your boundaries and your appointed time, so find contentment in every moment that you live within those limits. Every circumstance you face can serve as a revelation of Me, and each reaction you undergo can be utilized by Me to bring about the fulfilment of My calling." In the desert each morning, manna awaited. Those who grumbled about the luxuries of Egypt stayed in their tents, missing out. But those who've embraced their calling in the wilderness rose daily to gather this divine gift from God scattered in the desert of daily challenges. We are called by this word to go out, gather the manna and capture the quail (solutions) each evening - even if it is for forty years and it is hard work.

For the calling is to survive the wilderness of this life, to live in the adventure of God's purposes, and to become conduits of God's energy that transforms this world to become a mirror of God's being. In the book of Acts, Paul’s sermon to the Athenians is recorded and discusses the specific times and limitations set for us to live within, all designed to fulfil a divine purpose. Without perceiving the hope embedded in his purpose and our individual callings, we might struggle to recognize his presence in our distinct circumstances, losing hope and faith and energy that causes despair. (Acts 17:26-27) However, the energy generated by despair lacks the vigour and potency needed for creation and transformation. Instead, it is squandered on self-absorption. The energy capable of creating and effecting change is directed away from the daily pain and losses we endure, focusing instead on the future rewards we will reap as we uncover God's purpose. This is the essence of the hope inherent in His calling. God is mobilizing an army of ordinary individuals who operate in the power of faith, producing from their innermost being, where God resides, the same energy that God employed to resurrect Christ from the dead. He intends to employ this energy not for the army's purposes or their comfort but for His glory. (Eph1:19-20)

Hence, we pray for one another, asking God to perform a mighty work within our hearts so that we may comprehend the significance (hope) of His calling. We also seek to establish a connection with our adoption and the inheritance bestowed upon us through this adoption, thereby cultivating a fresh identity as children of God. Once we have secured hope and embraced our identity, we shall be empowered to operate in the faith that enables us to access the Divine Power dwelling within us. In doing so, God can channel it just as he did when he “raised Christ from the dead and exalted him to sit at his right hand in heavenly realms”. By the channelling of this released energy, the tangible world can undergo transformation on an individual basis, gradually extending these changes to reach those who hold the reins in shaping the future of our world. (Eph 1:19-20). And in that way, we can walk into the valley of Baca (tears) and it can be transformed just by our presence. (Psalm 84:6) Paul recognized this, which is why his prayers for the Ephesians, as found in Ephesians 1 and 3, encompassed these essential aspects: He prayed for: A supernatural transformation in their hearts and a renewal of their minds through a deepening of their understanding. This is a spiritual work. This would enable them to: 1. Grasp the profound significance of God's calling. 2. Comprehend the magnificence of their inheritance, acquired through that divine calling. 3. Cultivate the faith necessary to recognize the presence of Christ dwelling within them. 4. Recognize the incredible power residing in them through faith—the same power that resurrected Christ from the dead. 5. Establish firm roots and a strong foundation in love. 6. Fully apprehend the love of Christ, surpassing all human understanding. 7. Experience being filled with the entirety of God's divine fullness.

I've come to understand that my individual calling and mission revolve around manifesting the complete essence of God's being in this life. This includes expressing it through my tears, laughter, shouts of victory, or even my groans of despair. I've realized that God's purpose transcends my personal comfort, and I'm willing to embrace anything that propels me toward this state of radical surrender to God's divine purpose, akin to how Jesus embraced the cross.

And to every one of us who think this is impossible: "Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen." (Eph 3:20-21)

83 views4 comments

Recent Posts

See All


Joe de Swardt
Joe de Swardt
Sep 20, 2023

Pursuing God is a daily effort - seek and pay attention through love.

The cultivation of redemption is powerful but effortless.

Understanding the love motive of redemption is an ever-expansive gift.

From this flows fruit and delightful purpose.

Do I understand you?

Stephan Vosloo
Stephan Vosloo
Sep 21, 2023
Replying to

Thank you, Joe, for posing these questions.

Pursuing God is a daily effort - seek and pay attention through love.

The term "effort" doesn't resonate with me, but it's undeniable that daily attention and practice are essential. However, as I know you know well, this isn't about exerting effort to impress God; rather, it's about transforming our own understanding. It's about renewing our minds and breaking free from binary thinking patterns, which are formidable obstacles on the path to awakening.

The closest thing resembling effort here is the prayer for supernatural revelation and the commitment to keep our hearts open to change. That will undoubtedly lead to simple daily practices that will foster a higher level of spiritual participation.



Sep 19, 2023

Yes, thanks for this, Stephan. I’ve been thinking about what you’ve shared about the energy (transformative Love) that moves, creates, ignites, resurrects, heals . . . and the “symphony” that ensues when two or three are gathered. 🙏🏼


Janet van Eeden
Janet van Eeden
Sep 17, 2023

"For the calling is to survive this wilderness of life..." speaks to me directly. Thank you so much for this thought provoking piece, Stephan. So profound!

bottom of page